the mrbrown show: your mother’s tongue


Language is a tricky thing to teach. The gahmen tries new methods!

Podcast iconPodcast: the mrbrown show 12 May 2010: your mother’s tongue
Download MP3 (MP3, file size: 1.9mb, Time: 00:03:47)


39 Responses to “the mrbrown show: your mother’s tongue”

  1. No 1 Ah Beng Says:

    Caution: Don’t eat while listening to this podcast. I almost died laughing with food in my mouth or on my tongue.

    Btw, why MOE wants to use the term “Mother Tongue”? What if there is a student from Hong Kong. Will MOE teach him cantonese? What if my parents know only hokkien? Mother Tongue is defined as “native language” or “parents language”. What if we have Native American students, like Navajo tribe? Why can’t MOE says 2nd language? Guess 2nd language is regarded as lower level. MOE needs to change that stigma. A 2nd language should mean another language taught in school.

  2. MotherTongue Says:

    你那里学你妈的舌头 HAHAHAHAHA!!!

  3. WeightageMan Says:

    ‘You just said you will learn very fast at my underneath! I don’t give privates tuition okay!’

    I just about died laughing there. XD

    Also, well done with all the bad Chinese–normally you have to try very hard to even get to that level. :P

  4. Asimo Says:

    Hilarious, one of the best this year for me!

  5. xia mian Says:

    really funny, especially those weak students’ chinese pronunciations! really bad!!! I think even those really CMI chinese students dun pronounce this way, more of angmohs to speak like tat!

  6. Bernardo Says:

    That’s a very cheeky broadcast that tickles all the taste buds on anyone’s tongue.
    Poking fun with the tip of your tongue at issues that can be teased, yet holding tongue at very sensitive matters….very brilliant indeed!

  7. MB Fan Says:

    Good to hear the NG towards the end!!!
    Thanks for listening and adopting our 2 cents worth!!!

  8. china helicopter view Says:

    ngengHen should direct MOE to hire you blokes to show the way how Chinese can be taught the fun way.

    success should not be measured by exam results but seeing more students looking forward to their next Chinese lesson. this includes working adults too.

    with millions of foreigners, there may come a day when the Thais, Burmese, Pinoys, Sri Lankans, etc, will demand to have their languages included for weightage.

    frankly, the real issue is PAP buggers speaking with fork tongue.

  9. polalion Says:

    oh the combination of all the things we love most: local issues, ns references and subtle vulgarities.

    great job, mbs crew.

  10. Yuhin Says:

    你妈的舌头…mr brown, you’ve showed me that I wasn’t the only one to have thought MTL as that.

    and all those double-meanings are so funny

  11. aier Says:

    my Grandfather (who is fluent in English and Japanese) said we (his grandchildren) should speak Hokkien. “Because that is your Mother Tongue.”

  12. SG Girl Next Door Says:

    Very funny indeed…

    @ aier

    Totally agree with you. Isn’t mother tongue the language that our mothers used when bringing us up?

    I still use dialects when ordering food at coffe shops and food courts.

  13. Andrew Says:

    Dear Mr Brown and team,

    I am reminded of the classic Spitting Image series from the UK when I listen to you guys. Satirical comedy at its best! Keep up the great work!

  14. mrq Says:

    the best so far…..

  15. Ah Beng Says:

    Love the Sergeant Major. You guys should use him more often! Go support the wall and touch the canteen auntie then come back! :D

  16. Dr Chan Says:

    Ok, it’s funny, but I expected some political innuendoes.

  17. Sam Says:

    isn’t the teacher the guy from the army fighting language? lol great pod cast. keep it up

  18. paul Says:

    This gahmen damn condemn liao lar… Lost their ideas. Still very against chinese language, don’t Sincerely promote nevermind, but don’t kill it with lots of CRAP.

    Every time their promote chinese language, they will have another scheme to slash the teaching standards or damage the language ecology.

    It’s Mr. Lee’s battle against the chinese educated…

  19. jasper Says:

    hahas,dammm funny…good way to show the chinese standard of youth today

  20. Sean Cheong Says:

    good job people !!! I am so proud of my Chinese after listening to this podcast…lolx !!!

  21. Marcus Says:

    A transcript of the podcast. This transcript is NOT found in the mp3 as lyrics, I just listened and typed out what they said. Not 100% accurate.

    Your mother’s tongue

    (bell rings)

    Sergeant: Good morning class.
    Students: Good morning teacher.
    Sergeant: My name is Sergeant Major Lim.
    Boy 1: Cher, cher. What subject are you teaching us?
    Sergeant: I am your new mother tongue teacher, just transfer from second guts. I am here because gahmen say must use new ways to teach Chinese, and other mother language.
    Girl: Everything also chiang hwa yu, chiang hwa yu, very the sian one leh.
    Sergeant: Recruit, you better wake up your idea. It is important for you to know how to use your mother’s tongue.
    Boy 2: But my father say, Chinese not important. English is the lingua franca of the world economy leh.
    Sergeant: Oei, dun use dis kind of French bear word in my class ah. What franca here franca there. Maybe your father marry your mother because of your mother’s tongue? How can you say not important?
    Boy 1: Cher, cher, I want to go toilet!
    Sergeant: Say in Chinese.
    Boy 1: Lao shi lao shi, wo yao qu pang jio (老師老師,我要去放尿).
    Sergeant: Pang your head lah! Wo yao qu xiao bian (我要去小便)!
    Boy 1: Oh ya! Xiao bian!
    Sergeant: Go, go!

    (Boy 1 left for toilet)

    Sergeant: You! Ger! Your chair got two legs spoil izzit?
    Girl: Har?
    Sergeant: Or you like to support the wall with your chair izzit? Go and support the wall behind the class now! Hold the wall and say “Help, help. The wall is falling”, in Chinese.
    Girl: Y…yes, cher. Jiu ming ah. Jiu ming ah. Che ke chiang yao die dao ler (救命啊,救命啊。這個牆要跌倒了).
    Sergeant: Ger! The wall is not a person. He cannot die dao. The wall yao dao le.
    Girl: Y…yes, cher.
    Sergeant: Dun worry. You will learn faster under me. You (looking at B2)! How to say what I just said in Chinese.
    Boy 2: Er…er, bu yao dan xin, ni hui xue hen kuai, zai wo xia mian (不要擔心,你會學很快,在我下面).
    Sergeant: Oi, you just said “You will learn very fast at my underneath”! You try to be funny izzit? I dun give privates tuition understand? Go and touch the canteen auntie and run back!
    Boy 2: Yes, cher.
    Boy 1: Cher, cher! Where you learn your mother tongue from?
    Sergeant: Ask me in Chinese.
    Boy 1: Er, ni na li xue ni ma de she tou (你哪裡學你媽的舌頭)?
    Sergeant: Ei, your Chinese damn condemn can? You taught liddis one kind of Chinese, outside sure kena whack!
    Girl: Cher, mother tongue exam still must pass then can go up for secondary school izzit? My Chinese very weak one leh.
    Sergeant: Ya lah! That is why I’m here to helch (help) you. To helch you lick your exam. With my new methods, together, we will lick your mother’s tongue.

    Note: Traditional Chinese characters used because I support them. And a bit of the Mandarin pronunciations here are based on the pronunciation of the words and not the pinyin itself.

  22. DOM the Clown Says:

    Dear Mr Brown,
    Can you kindly do a podcast on the greeeeeedy telcos?




  23. Gordon Sandtrooper Says:

    Just curious, how many people in Mr Brown’s team can actually speak Chinese? Have a few non-Chinese right?

  24. Tdxiang Says:

    Haha. Literally, the “tongue of the mother”.
    Awesome episode.

  25. mb Says:


    其实只有 brown 先生和 Derrick 先生会讲华语。哈哈!

    Marc 和 Samanatha 都是欧亚人。Marc 是印度混血儿。Samanatha 是葡萄牙混血儿。


  26. No 1 Ah Beng Says:

    Can you do one in cantonese or hokkien?

    It will be like “ne lo mo ….” or “nin lau bu …”.

  27. Choohian Says:

    I doubt the podcast can actually be helpful to the learning process. The students were speaking Singlish, there was bad grammar, and when Mandarin Chinese was spoken, it was a Chinese more akin to a western English speaker than a Singlish speaker. It was like someone who can’t speak English well now pretending to have an western accent when speaking Mandarin. What do you end up with? Sorry, yes, laughable.

  28. ZR Says:

    Haha I LOLed so hard at Sergeant Major. Haha Brilliant!

  29. Joel Says:

    This was hilarious! Thanks!

  30. lick your mother tongue « under the cup Says:

    […] And of course the funny ones as well. I love this! (A transcript of the podcast done by Marcas) […]

  31. roddreck Says:

    Haha gotta love sergeant major. MORE PLEASE!

  32. des Says:

    Oh my! This is so bladdy funny! I was listening to it while on the mrt train and everyone looked at me like I was some retard. The out-takes lagi better!

  33. emoboi Says:

    serious epic fail
    i almost die when i drinking water
    boy how to say the sentance that i say just now
    pu yao dan shing ni hui shue gen qui on wuo the sia mian

  34. NiMaMaDeSheTou Says:

    LOL.Your chinese damn condemned outside sure kena whack one.Nice one! I almost died drinking my coke

  35. ~toot~ Says:

    HIHIH! Nice to meet you. Army fighting language very nice! And the ERP song! Great!

  36. annonymous Says:


  37. qi xiang Says:

    this show too funny de I fall off my chair while laughing hahaha x.x

  38. Ur Teacher Says:

    errrr…. since tis is chi class, shuldnt the teacher speak in chi oso?

  39. Justin Tan Wen Cong Says:

    Like that how to speak?!

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