Some Smooth Ways to Avoid Shark Attacks (Newcastle beer pamphlet)
Seen in the Hermosa cafe we ate lunch at.
Do not go swimming while wearing a sea lion Halloween outfit.
If you see a shark in the water, do not get in the water.
Do not go surfing with sardines stuffed into your wetsuit.
Do not swim with seals because you think it’s cute. Sharks eat them like popcorn.
Live in the Midwest. Your chances of getting attacked by a shark there are very small.
Do not swim where they are filming a shark documentary.
Do not wildly thrash around in murky water in a silver sequined bathing suit.